Five Steam games that’ll make you rip your hair out

For whatever reason, games that drive us insane can often be our favourites.

Some will tell you that gaming is not what is used to be. That video games were harder when we were kids and game companies had to make something that could last for hours, and yet be simple enough to store on a cartridge. They’ll tell you that gaming is just too easy nowadays. Clearly they’ve never played the games on this list! These are games you can purchase on Steam, and some of them may be simplistic, but all of them will have you ripping your hair out, screaming in a fit of rage and anxiety.

5. Amnesia

Most games on this list make you pull your hair out because they’re bloody impossible and clearly created by Satan himself. Amnesia is here for a different reason.

It’s horrifying.

As you’re hiding in a closet to avoid some horrible naked zombie creature, or being chased by invisible blood-thirsty dogs, and slowly finding out about the dark mysteries that have brought Daniel to this strange place, you’ll be shaking. You’ll be whimpering. Daniel won’t be the only one whose teeth are chattering. Those dark passages and scary memories will have you going insane right along with the protagonist. And have you ever seen a crazy person with well-kept hair? No. No, you haven’t.

4. VVVVVV

Who’d have thought that a game this simplistic could be so freakin’ tough? All you do is hit the left and right arrow keys and the spacebar. All you do is jump from platform to platform, floor to ceiling. What’s so hard about that? Apparently everything!

Watch out for the spikes and time your jumps with absolute precision, or there’s no way you’ll ever be able to finish VVVVVV. If any jump is too early or too late, or if you mess up your landing even the tiniest bit, it could mean the difference between venturing on and having to make the same jump 23, 897, 000 times.

3. Hotline Miami

Hotline Miami is a heck of a game in a lot of ways. It’s quite the trip, for one thing. It’s also crazy-hard. You can look around the level and try to plot out your attack, but there’s still a fair likelihood you’ll go through a level several times before you hit a checkpoint. Sometimes you keep facing the same enemy, and facing the same enemy, and facing the same enemy, and you somehow still manage to get shot in the face.

You start feeling ┬áreally happy you never chose a life of crime, because you’d probably be dead a hundred times over by now. At least when people complain that video games make gamers violent, you can say that Hotline Miami actually prevented you from becoming a criminal.

2. Binding of Isaac

The Binding of Isaac is a weird game. Most of what you face is randomized: different enemies in different rooms with different items and different bosses every time you lose. It keeps you on your toes.

There’s also the fact that many enemies are quick, or powerful, or there are absurd amounts of them in every room. It’s hard, though it may be one of the easier games on this list. But it’s not just the difficulty of The Binding of Isaac that will make you pull your hair out. It’s also grotesque. Most actions cause disgusting sounds, and the colour palette is very gory. The enemies aren’t pretty, either. They’re the hideous creatures children imagine live in basement. The entire experience this game presents is hard to bare.

1. Super Meat Boy

Super Meat Boy may just be the most hair-pullingly-difficult game of the last decade (I’m saying of the last decade so that we don’t have to talk about games like ET). Super Meat Boy basically combines what makes every other game on this list hair-pulling-out worthy. It’s simple, so you underestimate it. It requires painful precision. The sound effects are awful to hear. You will die literally over a thousand times before you beat the game, if you beat it at all. If you don’t rip your hair out, cry, swear, and throw your controller/smash your keyboard while completing Super Meat Boy, you’re not human. Congratulations. I envy you.

Now, excuse me while I go purchase a wig.

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